I Am Alive

I am alive, and what more matters? I survived my oral surgery, but I am not feeling that I want to put up all of the details. Or, for that matter, any details at all. It was over a week ago, and frankly, I am quite over it.

In other news, I revisited the horrid pottersues place on Livejournal, and found a couple of encouraging comments. It's funny how my heart still pounds incredibly hard and fast, even when I didn't read the older comments. I have never been able to forget the incident, you see. It still keeps me up sometimes, and makes has made me once more upset more times than I can count or recollect. I wish that I could forget.

Occurrences of a Disturbing Kind

Several strange things happened to me today. Or rather, they were not things that happened, per se, but rather things that were told to me. Well, no, not precisely...

In my Journalism class, the percent of people who actually listen to the teacher is almost nonexistent, and thus I am on the internet, experimenting with Photoshop, or playing the Solitaire Widget. Unfortunately, many of the websites which I regularly visit cannot be accessed without a proxy. Even more unfortunately still, the proxy I used (along with many other people) was blocked by the district.

Today in P.E., as we have been doing for the past week or so, we were playing Ultimate Frisbee (that seems almost an oxymoron). Suddenly, as I was walking up and down the field with my friend, a boy, whom I shall call S., says, "Hey, are you the girl that's obsessed with Harry Potter?" One might simply imagine what was running through my mind then.

I had but several seconds to think of a witty reply without leaving a perceivable pause, and thus the words that were blurted out of my mouth were: "How would you know that!"

I am sure there was something more witty that I could have said, and I ought to have just outright denied it. However, I did not, and my friend laughed. S. replied that he knows people in my Journalism class, and that I am always going on Harry Potter websites. Well, obviously I am going on them; they don't require a proxy for visitation during school. I asked him who he knew, though at that point the frisbee was thrown to him, thus leaving me hanging in an agonizing state of curiosity.

I believe the person he knows sits at my right, whom I shall call A.


After school, it being a Thursday and thus a shorter day than usual, my mother brought me to the Orthodontist. This is where the final two occurrences took place. The first, when I walked in to the back where the examinations and such take place, a rather overweight boy (I believe it was a boy) began to stare at me. It was not so unnerving at first, yet his eyes were continuously upon me. Luck did not favor me, because of course he was right next to me. More unnerving still, he watched me as I got up to have panorama X-rays done (I believe that is what they are called). I was exceptionally thankful when his appointment was over. I believe he is in the eighth grade at my old middle school, as he looked vaguely familiar.

The most disturbing thing of all, however, was something that came as an exceptional shock to me. Today, my orthodontist informed me that I ought to have my wisdom teeth pulled this summer, as they have not begun to form roots. I was also told that I only have two wisdom teeth, both on the bottom. I was incredibly pleased at this, because I knew that this would make the ordeal so much easier, and I had had six teeth pulled several years ago.

However, it was my mother that ruined it for me. They actually put you under to get your wisdom teeth pulled. I admit I cried out in fright, for that is certainly not something I wish to hear. I understand why they must do it, yet it terrifies me. On top of that, my regular dentist does not do that sort of thing, so my orthodontist referred my to an oral surgeon. My mother told me that it is actually surgery. I know that I must have it done this summer, in spite of the fact that I could still wait a year or so. The only trouble is that summer is little more than one month away.

La Belle Dans Le Bleu

Photoshop really is a wonderful thing. I know I should be posting more wordy things, but I promise that this is just a fixation that shall end as soon as my free trial ends, which is about twenty-five more days.

Here is what I have been working on today. One has a border, but they are essentially the same.

Photoshop Delights

It's really the most wonderful thing, Photoshop is. I downloaded the thirty day trial, and I've been working like mad. This is my most recent experiment, and yes, I am not blind and I know who I put in this particular blend together. Although, it did spawn an idea for an Emma Watson blend which I would like to try.
(And so I don't forget it: Link to host)

Riddles in the Dark

It has been a while since I have last posted, and now to add to that, I am on an iMac, which does not allow me to change the font size. This upsets me, though I suppose I can change things around a bit when I get home.

The reason I am posting is because over the weekend, Riddles in the Dark-Tom and I- reached over ten thousand reads. I am so ecstatic to say this!

Well, as I am in my Journalism class at the moment, I suppose I'll have to keep this very brief. Alas. But in closing, the twenty-seventh chapter of Riddles was posted yesterday, and idea for twenty-eight has been brewing in my mind since last night's insomnia.

Ah, now there we go. Edited to a minute perfection.

Then and Now

I'm pleased to say that I have finally posted chapter twenty-six of Riddles in the Dark-Tom and I-. I'm not exactly sure why I'm posting this here, only that in the future, I hope to post a link on my HPFF author page to my humble blog, here.

So, if anyone from HPFF happens upon this, the chapter is entitled "Then and Now."

When the Cat Grasps On To Life

I feel a little bit better now. Better enough, at least, to put down my thoughts in more of a coherent manner.

My dad came into my room not too long ago, just to check on me because my door was closed. Inevitably, he discovered me crying, inquired what was wrong, and I told him about what I had just found. It felt so good just to talk to someone about it, and I was immeasurably grateful that he had walked in at that precise moment. I had no one else to talk to; indeed, if I hadn't been found, I wouldn't have told anyone. Not yet.

I learned that my grandfather has written quite a bit in the past--not creatively, more analytical than anything else. It eventually came to the point that whenever he released a new book, the critics would brutally tear him into pieces without even reading what he had written before doing so. I wish that the same would apply to me in this case, because some of my "flamers" had valid points, even if they noted them harshly.

In English, we watched a movie on John Steinbeck, and as we did so, I couldn't help but notice the parallels between us. Steinbeck, after being criticized extensively for The Grapes of Wrath, took their words to heart and never wrote a word of fiction again. This is something, about only an hour ago, I considered doing.

But I suppose that I do feel somewhat better after talking with my dad. I am not, by any means, happy, but I've been coaxed into not deleting A Maid in the Malfoy Manor from HPFF. It's been deleted from everywhere else except Quizilla already.

When Curiousity Brutally Murders the Cat

I've often wondered why it is that good things never last. At the moment, I don't know what more I can really say, because I'm so upset that I cannot bring myself to even cry. My body is shaking and my heart is pounding; this has happened to me only once before.

Since I do not know if I can even stand to type, I'll simply provide a link. I'll simply say that my fanfiction.net name is MyPhoenixLament. Here is the reason that I don't think I'll be able to write for a while.

But I think that it will suffice to say that A Maid in the Malfoy Manor is going to be deleted from each and every place it has been posted. It has only brought me trouble and heartbreak.

Trusted Author At Last

As I entered the forums and made my way to the Prefects' Lounge this afternoon, something caught my eye.

The Prefects' Lounge is a place for the more trusted members of the HPFF forum to discuss the site itself, or go more into depth about things mentioned in the main forum. Only Prefects can access this section of the forum. As I am a Prefect, this is where I first heard of this year's April Fool's Day event.

As I was browsing the Lounge, looking for an interesting topic, I found one entitled "Hello Trusted Folks." Immediately, I clicked on it, for I had been hoping to find any information about becoming a Trusted Author on the archive. (A Trusted Author is the equivalent to a Prefect on the forums.) I had been coveting this status for a year now, and had begun to worry that I would never reach it.

Several months ago, I foolishly attempted to make my own banner for a one-shot that I was posting, and, unaware of the size limitations posted it only to have it deleted and an email sent telling me it was a pixel or so too large. From reading various things about Trusted Authors, I knew that this meant I would be returned to "square one," and would have to wait quite some time to achieve the Trusted status—if ever.

Much to my delight, this is what I read:

Well, Lauren brought up the list of prefects that
weren't trusted and compiled it. You all understand the site rules, so please
don't break them Most of you were bumped to trusted except for the author names
I couldn't find. So, if you are a prefect and your account hasn't been moved to
trusted - here it is - your chance to yell at me. Actually, if you could just PM
me your pennames if you can't log in that would work too
shade

I bit my lip and hurriedly returned to the archive to log into my account. And sure enough, as I logged into my account and proceeded to click upon the "Add New Chapter" link under Edit/Delete Stories, I found that I could, indeed, add a new chapter. Excitedly, I rushed to log into a friend's account, someone who I knew wasn't on the Trusted list. And when I went to add a chapter, it told me that I couldn't (or rather, she couldn't, depending how one would choose to view it at the moment) do it. I was given an error message.

And so, I am ecstatic to say that I am now officially a Trusted Author on HPFF, thanks to my status as a Prefect. I've had such wonderful luck this week on HPFF, I feel a rather blissful happiness wash over me as I lay here upon the sofa—the same sofa on which I was so frightened last night.

Websites to Avoid

No doubt, by looking at the time, you have realized just how late it is. For some reason, sleep seems as if it wishes to elude me tonight, or at least for the time-being, so I am left with nothing to do but let my fingers carry me away as I type.

But now, to the task at hand.

There is a website or two that I have encountered that are really quite terrible. Websites, in fact, that I used to enjoy, but no longer do because of what they have become--or rather, what I have realized them to be.

For instance, the website you should be the most careful to avoid is Gaia Online. At this site, you are sure to encounter a collection of the rudest people in the world. And I mean this quite literally, because Gaia is a place where people of all ages from all countries commune. From that last sentence, you would think that it is a wonderful place. The truth, as you might have guessed, is that it is far from wonderful. Gaia is a ghastly place, most especially the Writer's Forum. Once, did I enter said forum, and my visit only resulted in being flamed to death for attempting to help someone.

Several hours ago, I allowed my stepsister to use my account, as she quit the site some weeks ago, and I gave her access to it. Unfortunately, she posted a topic in the main forum (the Chatterbox), which is something I vowed never again to do. (This was because of the fight that erupted in the Writer's Forum. I secluded myself to select guilds.) Just minutes ago, I checked the topic, and to my horror, I found myself once again flamed. At first, I had thought that it was just me that all of the Gaians seemed to dislike. But now I realize that they aren't prejudiced. They flamed my stepsister as well.

Now. The other websites which I rather dislike (or begrudge) are admittedly not as terrible as the one I have just mentioned. I still use them, though I am careful when I do.

Fanfiction.net is rather frightening, simply because of all the things you can find there. (Such as highly descriptive rape scenes, bizarre [slash] pairings, and terrible writing.) If you ever choose to visit this site, you must be highly certain of what you are looking for, as you can stumble upon some very unpleasant things if you're not careful enough. Granted, there is some decent writing, but it's a rare (and refreshing) thing, rather like finding a rose in a garden of weeds.

However, I would highly caution anyone against actually posting stories there. Just as on Gaia, people are horribly rude. It is highly likely that you will receive reviews that have the capability to send you into a state of depression--and I do not say this lightly. I know this because of a story I attempted to post there entitled A Maid in the Malfoy Manor. My first review told me that my character was a Mary Sue (which she was not, because I have consulted several people on this), and my third review was a flame berating me for how I portrayed the Scottish incorrectly. Needless to say, I deleted the story immediately and refused to post for a long while afterward.

Lastly, two sites you should also be careful when browsing are QuickKwiz and Quizilla. The latter is filled with terrible writing, and the former, while enjoyable if you know what you are looking for, contains a vast quantity of disgusting items. I've not taken personal insult from them, but it is likely only a matter of time.

I edit this later today in hopes that you will ignore this. In light of today's discovery, it would seem that I am to be brilliantly flamed for every little thing that I do, and so I would not want to come off as complaining too terribly, because I am only going to be torn apart for it. Thankfully, as of yet no one knows of this humble blog, so I can complain all I like without anyone to have to listen to me. It's a fair arrangement, I think.

The Secret Diary of Legolas

I really have to post this here. It isn't mine, I'm disclaiming it right now. And I don't mean for this to become a scrapbook or anything of the like, it's just that I happened upon it around four years ago, and fell in love with it. Granted, I was much younger, but still...

The link for the original Very Secret Diaries by Cassandra Claire can be found here.